TGIT

Wow! It has been one hell of a week, and it's only Thursday. Found out on Monday morning that the October 2007 couple's placement round for Peace Corps is mostly positions for certified teachers, so the odds are that lori and I won't get a position in that round. That means we'll have to wait until the February 2008 placement round, which means that we won't be leaving until late 2008 or early 2009. Ratchet the schedule back about 6 months, eh?

In some ways, it might be a good thing. We'll be able to save up some more and pay off some more debt. It'll also be nice to actually enjoy the house for awhile now that all the hard work is done. Que sera, sera.

Monday night, I started work at Chipotle (burrito making joint in EL). It's a really good time, but they've been really busy the last few days with all the students coming back to campus. I'm closing, which has been quite an adventure and has meant quite a lot less sleep. it didn't help that I closed three nights in a row (MTW). I'm going to be early tonite.

And, this is Lisa's (Jeff's other care giver) last week of work. Last day actually. So, I'm back to Monday through Friday with Jeff. It'll be about the same hours, though, and I don't really need Tuesday off now that I don't have any major house projects. The hardest part is going to be adjusting to working mornings five days a week, and then working evenings several more days a week. I think it will really throw off mine and lori's rhythms. It's always fun trying to adjust to a schedule change.

Titles are lame

Well, I'm sitting at Chipotle on Grand River. I just had orientation and I start work on Monday. Fun, fun. I definitely get 50% off of food and drink. Crazy. I'm excited. I think it'll be really fun place to work.

Being married is hard. That's what I have to say about that.

Soccer is fun, I'm sad that I didn't have a game this past week. I'm looking forward to Thursday. I don't know what I'll do when I can no longer take out my rage on grass and a little round ball. I never thought I'd enjoy that game as much as I have this summer.

I am currently coveting Paslode Cordless Framing and Finish Nailers. Owning them probably wouldn't make me happy, but it would be fun . . . and manly. Plus I could nail lots of stuff together with out having to carry around an air compressor. That's cool.

I wonder if they have cordless nailers in Peace Corps. Something tells me that the hardware stores in rural Central Asia wouldn't carry the little butane canisters and special nails.

I'm back to being Jeff's only caregiver. I hope it doesn't get overwhelming. It's been nice having someone else around and able to help. I think I'm also getting nervous about when I leave for good at the end of this year. I hope they find someone good to keep doing Jeff's care. I know it's going to be stressful. I suppose it's really good that I've been there for so long, until I have to leave and then they have to start over new. Isn't that life, though?

sorry for the randomness today. non-linear brain in action. Maybe I should go write some poetry or draw little pictures or something

A new job

News of the Week

Well, before the news, I should tell you I have been stunned by a thought I had this week: Weather reports! I realized this week that in the weather reports on any channel but the weather channel, and even then only on special programs, they never actually explain the weather. They just barely talk about fronts and air movement. As to actually explaining how they came up with what they think might happen or what alternative weather patterns might be likely, they just throw some numbers at you. Basically, I most likely get dumber any time I watch a weather report.

In other news, lori's dad held a surprise wedding last weekend. We headed to South Dakota on Friday night and returned Monday night. Sunday her dad and his fiancee, Charlene, hosted a barbecue at her beautiful lakefront home. At the end of the barbecue they had a little church service kind of thing, which magically turned into . . . poof . . . a wedding. Fortunately, they had invited four pastors, so they just asked them to do various parts of the ceremony, then signed the paperwork, and . . . poof . . . a surprise newlywed couple. It was a fun time.

Moving on in the news, we had our Peace Corps interview on Wednesday night, and both lori and I think it went really well. It sounded like we have a very competitive application. Problem is that they only do couples placements every three months (they do individual placements on a rolling basis as the apps come in) and we missed a round of couples' placements at the end of July. That means that we won't hear about a nomination until late October or early November. So time to keep ourselves busy while we wait for an answer.

Perhaps a major headline here . . . after our Peace Corps interview we went and had a bite to eat to talk about our pre-Peace Corps service plans. Lori's really had a hankering to spend some time in South Dakota with her family, and especially with the recent family structure changes (Dad got remarried=new step-mom and step-siblings to get to know; Mom living on her own, with a new job; Brother entering the last years of Pharmacology program, with all the crazy changes that happen through college), this hankering makes more and more sense. Since we're going to have to fold up camp, i.e., quit our jobs, sell/store/give away most of our stuff, and say all our goodbyes, before starting service, we think that now might be the only time we could really spend a significant amount of time living in SD. So, we're thinking that we are going to pack up once lori finishes her OCD therapy (-12 weeks from now). We have to sell the house first, of course, so that will be the biggest obstacle, but basically we want to spend as much time with lori's family as we can before we leave for Peace Corps.

And finally, as a token closing piece: I interviewed at Chipotle today, and I think I got the job. I should hear from them within a week. I'll be working there to add hours to what I already do with personal care. Mostly though, I'll be working for free burritos and the discount.

I guess that's enough for now. Crazy weekend coming up: IKEA tomorrow morning to return a bed that we won't need (Peace Corps); Mali Study Abroad Reunion tomorrow afternoon; Cousin Heather's Dance Party Birthday tomorrow night; little bit of work on Sunday morning; and finally, Thor over for lunch on Sunday afternoon. Hold on to your pants :D

Little Thoughts

“How do you expect to leave everything behind when you enter a meditation center? The kind of suffering that you carry in your heart, that is society itself. You bring that with you, you bring society with you. You bring all of us with you. When you meditate, it is not just for yourself, you do it for the whole society. You seek solutions to your problems not only for yourself, but for all of us.” - Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace p.64

I’m trying not to think about Peace Corps at this point. We’ve both turned in almost everything (just waiting on other people to fill out recommendations). We should hear from them through the mail in a week or less, through US Mail, telling us how to check our app status online. I’m assuming we’ll also be hearing in the next week or two from the local recruiter to set-up an interview. Lori and I both are really hoping for Moldova. I’m hoping for almost anything other than Africa. I have serious doubts about my ability to handle the heat.

I Feel Like I'm on Speed, but I Should be Sleeping

So, it’s 1 am, which I guess means it’s Wednesday, but I’m still thinking of it as Tuesday, since I haven’t slept yet. For some reason, I’m all hyped up. I’m pretty proud of myself. I worked crazy hard today and got our front porch floor, rail, and columns repainted. It looks really good, and will look even nicer when I put our freshly painted furniture back on it. This floor paint stuff is crazy, though. It takes like 24 hours before you can even set foot on it, then it’s 72 hours before it’s ready for normal use. Normal wall paint dries completely to the touch in just a few hours. This stuff was still a little tacky after 6 hours today! Kinda nuts.

Have I mentioned that we’re joining the Peace Corps? Lori turned her application in on Sunday, so it’s pretty much official. If they’ll take us, we’re in. I’m guessing we’ll be setting up interviews and getting the process rolling for real in the next 2-3 weeks. We’re starting to look at selling the house, so that we’re not tied down by it. We’re hoping to be headed out sometime next spring/summer. Kinda crazy.

In other news, Lori’s dad is getting remarried next weekend (August 5), so I’m planning on trip to SD on two weeks notice. More kinda crazy.

I’ve been thinking about this 20-30 year old period. Lori and I have a bunch of friends who are just coming out of it and really getting established in what they’re doing. I feel like we’re on the opposite end of that: really just getting started in figuring out what the rest of our lives might have as a trajectory. I’m excited, but it also feels like it’s a lot of hard work, and it’s so socially awkward at times. I feel like I’m an adolscent again. Then it was zits, growing pains, being a bit clumsy, and not knowing how to impress girls. Now it’s feeling unsure of how to adapt to being an adult: making my own decisions, being responsible for my own finances, interacting in general in the ‘adult’ world.

It’s interesting. The first period (adolescent) is mostly biological and organic, very little of it is human-constructed. This socially-awkward time of change, however, seems almost entirely a social construction based on the adult/child divide, and various responsibilities our society has decided that we should take on at various times. I wonder what less constricted and defined growth into social responsibility/maturity would look like.

Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't

So, I'm not even sure where to begin this thought, because it's not really presenting itself in linear fashion. I guess I'll start where it started for me today. I was listening to a podcast of a debate on climate change/globla warming (NPR: Intelligence Squared). One of the debaters contested that we shouldn't listen to the environmental alarmists because they don't even take their own advice: Al Gore still flies in a private jet, Sierra Club members are still on the coal-burning, pollution-ridden power grid, etc. The recent Live Earth concerts received a very similar treatment with complaints about all the artists being flown in, the massive crews, stages, lights, amplifiers, etc, which all meant that Live Earth concerts released incredible amounts of carbon into the air. Of course, it is worth noting that Al Gore and Live Earth organizers have made a serious effort to offset their carbon emissions by funding carbon fixing initiatives (carbon offset projects), though that is likely worth an entire discussion on some other day and blog.

I feel the thrust of this argument, and Lori and I struggle with it regularly. No one wants to be or support a hypocrite, who preaches a message with no pretense of practicing or internalizing it. However, I feel frustrated by those that make it, because it is usually made with an ignorance for the complexity of the situation. That is not to say that there are not hypocrites, but that we should be careful in making such an accusation. We never hold or pursue any ideal or value in isolation. So, therefore, though I value environmental responsibility and energy conservation, I also value saving for future investment, supporting social justice efforts, and purchasing good books, among other things which compete for the funds I might spend on making my life more energy efficient. I value time with my friends, time with my wife, and time for relaxation and meditation, all of which compete for the amount of time I might spend in projects to make my dwelling and life more energy efficient. I value as well . . .

I think you get the point regarding the competition of a variety of values in our live and I hope you see how this plays into my frustration with accusations of hypocrisy. One can earnestly believe in the extreme importance of environmentalism and conservation and yet that belief is limited by other things with one also believes are extremely important. How far can and should we go in pursuing our ideals and how do we balance those ideals both internally, that is, so that we can be decided for ourselves, and externally, that is, so that we can apply our personal stance effectively to our culture, society, and locality? This question is one that approaches more honestly the issue at hand.

I think that this kind of thinking is useful in application, not just to environment and conservation, but to any issue where we have to balance our values with our resources and the structure within which we must work. This brings me to another point on this line of thinking: We are not just constricted by our competing internal values and resources, but also by societal, cultural, and political structures and prejudices. Here, to me, is where the damned if you do, damned if you don't part of the issue, and where the rubber meets the road for my struggle with the issue of hypocrisy. You see, I know people that are not hypocrites of the kind this gentleman complained about in his argument. They have moved off the grid, gone ridiculously local, sought all kinds of alternative forms of energy, etc. Often this happens at the cost of their respectability and voice. People regard them with suspicion or as crazy hippies and often don't take the time to listen to what they have to say for their chosen lifestyle. In fact, I can hear and have heard people who make complaints of hypocrisy, then make derogatory comments about the people who are living out the lifestyle based on what they are arguing against. It's a comment along these lines: "Look at that environmental activist hypocrite talking about conservation and preservation while he flies around in a private jet, and can you believe that weirdo hippies and nerds he hangs out with. Damn communists." It is difficult to desire to live according to one's convictions when those convictions go against the social norms held tightly by one's society.

As I said, this is where the rubber hits the road for Lori and I. It is interesting to discuss our choice to enter the Peace Corps with folks who think that we should have more ambitious aims for our lives. We are frustrated at having to choose between graduate school, and the debt it brings and time it takes, and pursuing our dreams and values. It is an ongoing struggle for us and I'm sure for almost everyone to seek to live in a world that is seldom organized in a way that is consistent with our own internal priorities and values. Such is the work of life, I suppose . . .