07 December 2007

thoughts on gitmo

Yes, I have been a great sluggard and slacker of a blogger. It's been crazy lately. The new job at Auto-Owners is starting to feel good. I enjoy what I do, and lori and I are starting to adjust to the new schedule with me working full-time. The last few weeks have been especially crazy. Lori's grandma passed away the Sunday before Thanksgiving, so we were out to South Dakota from Sunday until Wednesday. Then we came back, because lori's mom was supposed to visiting us from SD for Thanksgiving. It was kinda funny because she dropped us off on Wednesday to head from SD to Lansing, and then we picked her up in Flint on Thursday and went to two family Thanksgivings, went shopping on Friday, and hung out around the house with lori's mom the rest of the weekend. All of this was generally a good time, but it's been stressful for lori. Between the running around and all the emotional processing, she's been had a full plate.

In other news, we signed up for a membership at the YMCA. They have this sweet facility about 10 minutes from us that was built in 2003. We've really enjoyed being able to work out there, since we aren't going to be as active outside as we were in the nicer weather months.

I read an article from the BBC News about the guy at Guantanamo who tried to slit his throat with his own sharpened fingernail. Reports say that he has been confined there for 6 years without charges brought against him. I forget exactly who, but one of the military folks in charge at Gitmo told the BBC that these inmates make these attempts to hurt themselves in order to discredit the US military and goverment. Now that is about the stupidest and vilest thing I have hear in a long time. Stupid because I find it hard to imagine that folks commit suicide just to discredit anything or anyone. That, at best, is only a partial explanation of the pain, anguish, and misery that must go into such a decision, if it is any explanation at all. It is vile because it dehumanizes the person who has injured themselves. This man's comment took an action which undoubtedly was far more complex and human than just an attempt to discredit the US.

If we would like to continue to fight battles of anger, hate, and misunderstanding, against people who will bear the same things towards us, then I think that this man's comments are an excellent strategy. Unfortunately, I think we have seen the results throughout history of these kinds of conflicts: blood, famine, suffering, enslavement, rape, pillage, and misery.

I believe that there is a different path. It may sound like pussyfooting, or ignoring danger, but I think that the most effective path to end these conflicts is to appreciate others in their full humanity, even if they don't appreciate themselves. If we dehumanize these folks, then we encourage them by our view of them, to continue to act inhumanely. If we give them a gift of understanding that feeds and nourishes their deeper seeds of humanity, then we will encourage those seeds to grow instead of hate and anger. I believe that all terrorists and enemies should be extended this love and understanding. I believe that by doing this we have the greatest potential to disarm their anger and their hatred, and because of our love and understanding in doing so, turn them, and future generations of their kin, into friends and allies. It may seem easier to overpower and destroy them, but that will not destroy the anger and hatred. It will grow anger and hatred in us, as we act on those seeds in ourselves. It will also encourage the growth of anger and hatred in our enemies, likely turning those that we keep under our thumbs, or the friends and kindred of those we destroy into enemies. There is only one way to peace, and that is through practicing peace. You cannot make lemonade with oranges, and you cannot expect to squeeze a lemon and get orange juice. If we seek peace, then we must seek and act on the peace within ourselves in order to achieve it. We must also realize that if we seek and use the anger and hatred within ourselves, we will reap anger and hatred.

So yeah, when I hear things like that guy said it really upsets me. I grieve for the dehumanizing treatment of a human being, no matter what they have done or been accused of doing. I grieve that our country plants seeds of hatred, anger, and fear. I grieve that we continue to act on our own hatred, anger, and fear. I also read this and realize that I need to practice what I preach. This military man and his hand-waving comments make me angry. And yet, if I stop that anger and try to understand why he would say such a thing, I might see differently. I wonder if he is afraid. Has he met this man before? What has their interaction been like? Is he disgusted by him, annoyed by him, or afraid of him? I wonder what he afraid he will lose because of terrorists acts of hatred and anger. What is it about the US that he loves and is afraid could be discredited by this man's actions? Is he afraid that he will lose his job if we treat his prisoners as I have suggested? What does he feel pressured to accomplish in his position at Gitmo? What superiors does he have to answer to and how does that effect how he regards his prisoners? I guess I won't get answers to those questions without the opportunity to talk to this fellow. I am glad I have done the exercise of asking the questions, though. My anger has less power now; I can feel the change. Instead, I do feel a desire to understand this man, to hope that by doing so, I can allow him to transform his own negative seeds and treat his prisoners more humanely.

15 October 2007

Hmmm, it's been a busy and crazy month

So, it's been a little crazy in the last month. One September 20, Jeff, for whom I had done personal care for 4 years and 4 months, passed away. It wasn't entirely unexpected, but it was pretty sudden and shocking. I'm still kind of reeling from that. I've never had someone that close to me pass away, and I'm still realizing what it means to me.

Since then, I've done a bit of job searching, as I'm mostly unemployed. I'm also still working at Chipotle, usually daytimes, which I much prefer to closing (I'm closing tomorrow night and not looking forward to it . . . grrr). I have an interview a week from today at Auto-Owners Insurance, where Lori currently works. I'm pretty excited about that. I also have an application in for a position as Academic Staff at MSU, with the Youth Farmstand Project. It would be incredible if I got either position.

It also happens that my brother knocked up his girlfriend. Gol'darn virile youngsters. He's a senior in high school. She's a freshman in college. So that's been another mess. Woo-hoo!

In good news, lori and I are going with a group of folks from MSU to Bioneers in Traverse City. Both of us are super excited about it. If you don't know what is, google Great Lakes Bioneers. Basically, it's environmentalist, progressive, community-oriented, inovatively-motivated group of people that get together to talk about how to make the world a better place. It should be a great time.

In bad news, today is the last day of vegetable pick-up from our CSA share. Very sad :(. No more weekly vegetables.

More later, I guess . . .

Peace in the Middle East

Condi says that President Bush will be making ending the Palestinian/Israeli conflict a top priority. Personally, I wish that he would make ending the conflicts that we are involved in a top priority. Something about speck of sawdust and log comes to mind.

My Wife's Advice on Depression

So, with all of the crap going on in my life lately, I've been feeling depressed on and off. I was telling lori this yesterday and that I don't much like feeling depressed. She chimes in, "Oh, don't worry, you'll get better at it." Thanks, lori, thanks.

12 September 2007

Political Correctness and a life update

For the record, I find political correctness to be really annoying and pretentious. The newest example of why it is pointless that I have stumbled across was on a handout for a high school Spanish class. It was about what to expect from a 'world language' learning process. Now what was wrong with the phrase 'foreign language?' When you learn a language that is not your own, does the word 'foreign' not apply? What does changing that word to 'world' do for us? It gives us a vague, meaningless phrase. As if someone could learn a non-worldly language?

Now, I understand that there are lots of people that have serious xenophobic issues and I have little doubt that all of us have our stereotyping racist/sexist/classist/etc. tendencies. But changing the terminology is not going to magically change our prejudices. In fact, I think it allows them to continue to exist, because we use this meaningless language, instead of recognizing that when we see something foreign we have a strong tendency to label it as bad. Why not instead continue calling foreign languages foreign, but make a serious campaign to realize that something can be foreign and very enjoyable. And even if it's foreign and we don't enjoy it, we don't have to label it as bad. We can just recognize that it is not for us. Perhaps, I'm asking too much, but too much or not, I just don't see how changing the terminology because we are afraid of certain people's prejudices associated with that word, is going to help the situation.

In personal notes, Sunday night, I felt really comfortable at Chipotle for the first time. It just seemed like I knew a lot better what I was doing and didn't have to think as hard to remember stuff. I'm sure I'll feel more and more loose as the stuff becomes habit. I think it's a bit of a social shock, too, that I'm getting used to. I'm right back in the middle of college culture working there. It's really fun in a lot of ways. Sometimes it can be frustrating, though, because, my schedule and life don't really fit a lot of 'college life' anymore. I closed last night, which also went well. I'm closing again tonite and Thursday night. I'm going to be tired by the end of this.

To cap it all off, lori and I are leaving at 5am on Friday morning to go hike around on South Manitou Island. Fortunately, lori will be able to go to bed early on Thursday night, and she'll drive most of the 4 hours up to Leland. I'll basically just crawl out of bed at 4:55 am, throw something resembling clothing on and then crawl into the back of the Vibe to sleep for at least a good part of the trip.

I'm actually really excited about SMI. We're going to be hiking about 2 miles from where we get dropped off by the ferry, then setting up camp and day hiking. That means, we don't have to try to pack super light and we can cover a lot of ground in a day, and hike later, since camp will be already set up and waiting for us. From all appearances, it looks like the island is amazingly beautiful. Look for pictures on my Picasa site (picasaweb.google.com/bioethicsman) sometime early next week.

06 September 2007

Things have been a little crazy

Rumor has it that my life has been crazy for the last week or two. I am here to confirm that yes, it truly has been. I’ve begun a second job at Chipotle Mexican Grill in East Lansing, so I’m now working 40-50 hours a week. Last week was especially crazy. I closed Monday and Tuesday at Chipotle, and Tuesday was a free burrito day. Monday night was crazy because we were busy, since it was the first day of classes, and the place was crazy since all kinds of prep had to be done for the free burrito day. Free burrito day itself is inherently crazy. I think it was about an average of a burrito every 8-9 seconds. Worst of all, I got to do dishes most of the time I was there (2:30-11:45), with an hour break in the evening and helping close up front and in the lobby after 10:45.

Then I went to Fenton Wednesday afternoon, after work, in order to give some attention to some family craziness. Five well spent hours, but spent hours nonetheless.

I then had some time Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon to finish preparing for a backpacking trip to Pictured Rocks. I picked lori up at work at 3pm on Thursday. We managed to get on the road by 3:30, but then managed to get in a really dumb fight, which made the ride up north a little bitter tasting. After driving in the dark down some glorified two-tracks, we arrived at the Twelve Mile Beach trailhead parking lot. We slept in the back of the car for a few hours, got up at 5:30am and jumped on our shuttle at 7am. Finally, after a bit of a runaround to get our backcountry passes we were on the trail.

Hiking was amazing. Pictured Rocks is beautiful, incredible really. If you want to see pictures, check out our album at www.picasaweb.google.com/bioethicsman. The trail is really easy to hike and the weather was incredible: warm, but not too warm, no rain, cool at night. Our trip was perfectly paced. We got to have nice long lunches at the beaches and arrived to our camps by late afternoon or early evening.

Of course, all of this was too good to last. On the second morning out, after breaking camp, on the way down to have breakfast at the beach, I fell in a stream and knocked my head on the stone bottom. I didn’t crack it open, but I was pretty woozy, wet, and my head hurt. So, I’m dizzy and soggy, and it turns out the the biting stable flies hunker down overnight in the sand, because it is warm from the sunlight, which means I’m trying to make breakfast while being bit by these nasty little flies. I was still dizzy an hour later when we finished breakfast and had our packs ready to go, and we decided it would be best to head out to the nearest parking lot, instead of heading further in and ending up stranded if my head wasn’t ok. So we took several hours to hike out 3 miles. By the end of it, I was pretty glad we had called it quits. Though my head only hurt for that day, it was really pounding pretty good by the time we got to the parking lot. Fortunately, we were able to have me hitch a ride to our car and lori and I started a round about drive home. We stopped at Taqhuamenon Falls, and then made it over the bridge by 9:30 Monday night, which was good since the 50th anniversary bridge walk was the next morning. Since every hotel within an hour drive of the bridge was said to be full, we parked at a county park lot west of the bridge 10 miles and slept in the car again. We drove the Tunnel of Trees scenic drive down to Harbor Springs, then through Charlevoix and back to I-75, then 127, which took us home.

It was nice to have Tuesday off for lori and I to unpack, clean up and relax at home together before returning to the grind. We got most of our unpacking work done and I was able to crash for most of the afternoon to recover from all the craziness of the week.

Well, that’s how things have been. I’m closing again at Chipotle tonite, meaning I’ll miss the last soccer game of the season ☹. I couldn’t find someone to switch the shift with me. Fortunately, I’m off Friday and Saturday night, so I’ll get to relax a lot this weekend. I’m looking forward to it . . .

23 August 2007

Oh, the cartoons

BBC News article that I found interesting:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6960220.stm

First off, some general comments about the whole religious cartoons fiasco over the last year or so. I find the fact the people are rioting, threatening violence, killing each other, etc. to be an incredibly silly and immature reaction. Of course, I don't think it's just people acting foolishly. It seems to me that various media outlets sensationalise both the original offence and the reaction to it. Then again, nice little stories about normal, sensible people just don't sell as well on the evening news. Yet another good reason to not be that into the evening news.

Second, comments in particular to the cartoons: I'll start with the Mohammed one and then move onto the new Jesus cartoon. I can understand that Muslim's would take offense at the portrayal of Mohammed with a bomb for a turban. I can't understand why they would turn around and enact violence as a reprisal ("How dare they portray Mohammed as a violent extremist!!! Let's go find somebody to kill or something to burn!!! That'll teach them a lesson!"). In keeping with the comment about sensationalising media forces, I didn't hear too much at that time, especially not in the headlines, about the millions of Muslims, who saw the cartoon and disproved it by proving their own belief in leading a peace-seeking life, with non-violence towards those things that they protest.

Third, turnaround is fair game. If the Western world is going to take a jab at a streak of violent extremism that runs in Muslim culture, might we not expect to receive a similarly stinging response? I don't think anyone can deny that substance abuse is not a small problem in our 'Christian' culture. And I think that good, churchgoing people can take a bite of humble pie and admit that they and their children are often not often doing much better with the issue than the rest of the culture. Pastor's kids do have a reputation after all.

Personally, I find both cartoons to be excellent pieces of sociopolitical cultural art. They sting, they upset exactly because they are effective, because they point out the dirt under the carpet. I also think they are both funny. They contain an irony because they hold the figurehead of a religion responsible for the misdeeds and misinterpretations of the faithful, and arguably for a kind of behavior that neither would have condoned.

I hope that we can look at these cartoons, think about what is implied in them, take the sting, and then seek to make positive change. If we don't want Jesus represented as promoting substance abuse, then seek to live a life of responsibility, compassion, and freedom and seek to help others, through love, compassion,, and understanding, acheive the same. If you don't think that Mohammed would have appreciated being portrayed as a mad bomber, then seek to promote peaceful disagreement and non-violent resolution. After all, protest only goes so far as its fruit grows in our lives.

TGIT

Wow! It has been one hell of a week, and it's only Thursday. Found out on Monday morning that the October 2007 couple's placement round for Peace Corps is mostly positions for certified teachers, so the odds are that lori and I won't get a position in that round. That means we'll have to wait until the February 2008 placement round, which means that we won't be leaving until late 2008 or early 2009. Ratchet the schedule back about 6 months, eh?

In some ways, it might be a good thing. We'll be able to save up some more and pay off some more debt. It'll also be nice to actually enjoy the house for awhile now that all the hard work is done. Que sera, sera.

Monday night, I started work at Chipotle (burrito making joint in EL). It's a really good time, but they've been really busy the last few days with all the students coming back to campus. I'm closing, which has been quite an adventure and has meant quite a lot less sleep. it didn't help that I closed three nights in a row (MTW). I'm going to be early tonite.

And, this is Lisa's (Jeff's other care giver) last week of work. Last day actually. So, I'm back to Monday through Friday with Jeff. It'll be about the same hours, though, and I don't really need Tuesday off now that I don't have any major house projects. The hardest part is going to be adjusting to working mornings five days a week, and then working evenings several more days a week. I think it will really throw off mine and lori's rhythms. It's always fun trying to adjust to a schedule change.

18 August 2007

Titles are lame

Well, I'm sitting at Chipotle on Grand River. I just had orientation and I start work on Monday. Fun, fun. I definitely get 50% off of food and drink. Crazy. I'm excited. I think it'll be really fun place to work.

Being married is hard. That's what I have to say about that.

Soccer is fun, I'm sad that I didn't have a game this past week. I'm looking forward to Thursday. I don't know what I'll do when I can no longer take out my rage on grass and a little round ball. I never thought I'd enjoy that game as much as I have this summer.

I am currently coveting Paslode Cordless Framing and Finish Nailers. Owning them probably wouldn't make me happy, but it would be fun . . . and manly. Plus I could nail lots of stuff together with out having to carry around an air compressor. That's cool.

I wonder if they have cordless nailers in Peace Corps. Something tells me that the hardware stores in rural Central Asia wouldn't carry the little butane canisters and special nails.

I'm back to being Jeff's only caregiver. I hope it doesn't get overwhelming. It's been nice having someone else around and able to help. I think I'm also getting nervous about when I leave for good at the end of this year. I hope they find someone good to keep doing Jeff's care. I know it's going to be stressful. I suppose it's really good that I've been there for so long, until I have to leave and then they have to start over new. Isn't that life, though?

sorry for the randomness today. non-linear brain in action. Maybe I should go write some poetry or draw little pictures or something

A new job

10 August 2007

News of the Week

Well, before the news, I should tell you I have been stunned by a thought I had this week: Weather reports! I realized this week that in the weather reports on any channel but the weather channel, and even then only on special programs, they never actually explain the weather. They just barely talk about fronts and air movement. As to actually explaining how they came up with what they think might happen or what alternative weather patterns might be likely, they just throw some numbers at you. Basically, I most likely get dumber any time I watch a weather report.

In other news, lori's dad held a surprise wedding last weekend. We headed to South Dakota on Friday night and returned Monday night. Sunday her dad and his fiancee, Charlene, hosted a barbecue at her beautiful lakefront home. At the end of the barbecue they had a little church service kind of thing, which magically turned into . . . poof . . . a wedding. Fortunately, they had invited four pastors, so they just asked them to do various parts of the ceremony, then signed the paperwork, and . . . poof . . . a surprise newlywed couple. It was a fun time.

Moving on in the news, we had our Peace Corps interview on Wednesday night, and both lori and I think it went really well. It sounded like we have a very competitive application. Problem is that they only do couples placements every three months (they do individual placements on a rolling basis as the apps come in) and we missed a round of couples' placements at the end of July. That means that we won't hear about a nomination until late October or early November. So time to keep ourselves busy while we wait for an answer.

Perhaps a major headline here . . . after our Peace Corps interview we went and had a bite to eat to talk about our pre-Peace Corps service plans. Lori's really had a hankering to spend some time in South Dakota with her family, and especially with the recent family structure changes (Dad got remarried=new step-mom and step-siblings to get to know; Mom living on her own, with a new job; Brother entering the last years of Pharmacology program, with all the crazy changes that happen through college), this hankering makes more and more sense. Since we're going to have to fold up camp, i.e., quit our jobs, sell/store/give away most of our stuff, and say all our goodbyes, before starting service, we think that now might be the only time we could really spend a significant amount of time living in SD. So, we're thinking that we are going to pack up once lori finishes her OCD therapy (-12 weeks from now). We have to sell the house first, of course, so that will be the biggest obstacle, but basically we want to spend as much time with lori's family as we can before we leave for Peace Corps.

And finally, as a token closing piece: I interviewed at Chipotle today, and I think I got the job. I should hear from them within a week. I'll be working there to add hours to what I already do with personal care. Mostly though, I'll be working for free burritos and the discount.

I guess that's enough for now. Crazy weekend coming up: IKEA tomorrow morning to return a bed that we won't need (Peace Corps); Mali Study Abroad Reunion tomorrow afternoon; Cousin Heather's Dance Party Birthday tomorrow night; little bit of work on Sunday morning; and finally, Thor over for lunch on Sunday afternoon. Hold on to your pants :D

28 July 2007

Little Thoughts

“How do you expect to leave everything behind when you enter a meditation center? The kind of suffering that you carry in your heart, that is society itself. You bring that with you, you bring society with you. You bring all of us with you. When you meditate, it is not just for yourself, you do it for the whole society. You seek solutions to your problems not only for yourself, but for all of us.” - Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace p.64

I’m trying not to think about Peace Corps at this point. We’ve both turned in almost everything (just waiting on other people to fill out recommendations). We should hear from them through the mail in a week or less, through US Mail, telling us how to check our app status online. I’m assuming we’ll also be hearing in the next week or two from the local recruiter to set-up an interview. Lori and I both are really hoping for Moldova. I’m hoping for almost anything other than Africa. I have serious doubts about my ability to handle the heat.

25 July 2007

I Feel Like I'm on Speed, but I Should be Sleeping

So, it’s 1 am, which I guess means it’s Wednesday, but I’m still thinking of it as Tuesday, since I haven’t slept yet. For some reason, I’m all hyped up. I’m pretty proud of myself. I worked crazy hard today and got our front porch floor, rail, and columns repainted. It looks really good, and will look even nicer when I put our freshly painted furniture back on it. This floor paint stuff is crazy, though. It takes like 24 hours before you can even set foot on it, then it’s 72 hours before it’s ready for normal use. Normal wall paint dries completely to the touch in just a few hours. This stuff was still a little tacky after 6 hours today! Kinda nuts.

Have I mentioned that we’re joining the Peace Corps? Lori turned her application in on Sunday, so it’s pretty much official. If they’ll take us, we’re in. I’m guessing we’ll be setting up interviews and getting the process rolling for real in the next 2-3 weeks. We’re starting to look at selling the house, so that we’re not tied down by it. We’re hoping to be headed out sometime next spring/summer. Kinda crazy.

In other news, Lori’s dad is getting remarried next weekend (August 5), so I’m planning on trip to SD on two weeks notice. More kinda crazy.

I’ve been thinking about this 20-30 year old period. Lori and I have a bunch of friends who are just coming out of it and really getting established in what they’re doing. I feel like we’re on the opposite end of that: really just getting started in figuring out what the rest of our lives might have as a trajectory. I’m excited, but it also feels like it’s a lot of hard work, and it’s so socially awkward at times. I feel like I’m an adolscent again. Then it was zits, growing pains, being a bit clumsy, and not knowing how to impress girls. Now it’s feeling unsure of how to adapt to being an adult: making my own decisions, being responsible for my own finances, interacting in general in the ‘adult’ world.

It’s interesting. The first period (adolescent) is mostly biological and organic, very little of it is human-constructed. This socially-awkward time of change, however, seems almost entirely a social construction based on the adult/child divide, and various responsibilities our society has decided that we should take on at various times. I wonder what less constricted and defined growth into social responsibility/maturity would look like.

19 July 2007

Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't

So, I'm not even sure where to begin this thought, because it's not really presenting itself in linear fashion. I guess I'll start where it started for me today. I was listening to a podcast of a debate on climate change/globla warming (NPR: Intelligence Squared). One of the debaters contested that we shouldn't listen to the environmental alarmists because they don't even take their own advice: Al Gore still flies in a private jet, Sierra Club members are still on the coal-burning, pollution-ridden power grid, etc. The recent Live Earth concerts received a very similar treatment with complaints about all the artists being flown in, the massive crews, stages, lights, amplifiers, etc, which all meant that Live Earth concerts released incredible amounts of carbon into the air. Of course, it is worth noting that Al Gore and Live Earth organizers have made a serious effort to offset their carbon emissions by funding carbon fixing initiatives (carbon offset projects), though that is likely worth an entire discussion on some other day and blog.

I feel the thrust of this argument, and Lori and I struggle with it regularly. No one wants to be or support a hypocrite, who preaches a message with no pretense of practicing or internalizing it. However, I feel frustrated by those that make it, because it is usually made with an ignorance for the complexity of the situation. That is not to say that there are not hypocrites, but that we should be careful in making such an accusation. We never hold or pursue any ideal or value in isolation. So, therefore, though I value environmental responsibility and energy conservation, I also value saving for future investment, supporting social justice efforts, and purchasing good books, among other things which compete for the funds I might spend on making my life more energy efficient. I value time with my friends, time with my wife, and time for relaxation and meditation, all of which compete for the amount of time I might spend in projects to make my dwelling and life more energy efficient. I value as well . . .

I think you get the point regarding the competition of a variety of values in our live and I hope you see how this plays into my frustration with accusations of hypocrisy. One can earnestly believe in the extreme importance of environmentalism and conservation and yet that belief is limited by other things with one also believes are extremely important. How far can and should we go in pursuing our ideals and how do we balance those ideals both internally, that is, so that we can be decided for ourselves, and externally, that is, so that we can apply our personal stance effectively to our culture, society, and locality? This question is one that approaches more honestly the issue at hand.

I think that this kind of thinking is useful in application, not just to environment and conservation, but to any issue where we have to balance our values with our resources and the structure within which we must work. This brings me to another point on this line of thinking: We are not just constricted by our competing internal values and resources, but also by societal, cultural, and political structures and prejudices. Here, to me, is where the damned if you do, damned if you don't part of the issue, and where the rubber meets the road for my struggle with the issue of hypocrisy. You see, I know people that are not hypocrites of the kind this gentleman complained about in his argument. They have moved off the grid, gone ridiculously local, sought all kinds of alternative forms of energy, etc. Often this happens at the cost of their respectability and voice. People regard them with suspicion or as crazy hippies and often don't take the time to listen to what they have to say for their chosen lifestyle. In fact, I can hear and have heard people who make complaints of hypocrisy, then make derogatory comments about the people who are living out the lifestyle based on what they are arguing against. It's a comment along these lines: "Look at that environmental activist hypocrite talking about conservation and preservation while he flies around in a private jet, and can you believe that weirdo hippies and nerds he hangs out with. Damn communists." It is difficult to desire to live according to one's convictions when those convictions go against the social norms held tightly by one's society.

As I said, this is where the rubber hits the road for Lori and I. It is interesting to discuss our choice to enter the Peace Corps with folks who think that we should have more ambitious aims for our lives. We are frustrated at having to choose between graduate school, and the debt it brings and time it takes, and pursuing our dreams and values. It is an ongoing struggle for us and I'm sure for almost everyone to seek to live in a world that is seldom organized in a way that is consistent with our own internal priorities and values. Such is the work of life, I suppose . . .

13 July 2007

A Great American Idea

So, I was struck with a great idea today. I think someone needs to start a company building upsacle homes. These homes would be like most nice homes, in most aspects. There would be one special thing about these homes, however. They would have windows that looked just like normal windows from the inside, but instead of glass looking on the outside, they would have High Definition LCD screens. Just think, you'd no longer be limited to living within your climate and geographical limits. Today, you want a beautiful sunny day next to a mountain range, just click the remote and there you have your landscape, right outside (or I guess you might say inside) your windows. Or perhaps it feels like it should be a rainy day to cuddle up next to the fireplace in your lakeside home. Once again, a few clicks and you're living in your desired paradise.

Of course, this doesn't have to limited to entire homes and new builds. Perhaps you could jsut add a room in this style as a remodel/addition to already existing homes. There could also be an entire spin off economy of creating various landscapes for your LCD windows. You could buy them as DVDs or DVD-ROMs. Or you could have the entire system connected to the internet, and folks could just download various landscapes and weather, etc.

I think you get the idea of what an incredible industry this could be. Of course, if you know me, you might also get the sarcasm with which I propose such an idea. Let's replace all of the windows in our homes with false windows, so that we can control what we see out our windows. Can you get more ridiculously wasteful and out of touch? The scary part is that I wouldn't be surprised if such a thing sold like wildfire. Heck, for all I know, someone is already doing it. I didn't do any research on that--I'm scared of what I would find. It's a perfect American idea. It involves having more control, which Americans love. Heck, not having windows would allow you to make your home a complete fortress, like a bomb shelter. How great! It's technology, and Americans love technology, especially if it's something that none of their neighbors have and therefore they can show off. Basically it's the kind of self-centered, wasteful, misuse of technology and energy that Americans love. Perhaps what the worst thing about this kind of idea is how disconnecting it is. Yes, you might gain control of whether you felt like having a mountain or a lake, rain, snow or shine outside your window, but that having that control means losing touch with what is actually outside your window. It also means isolating yourself from your neighbors. Who wants to live next to a house with no windows? That would seriously creep me out.

So anyways, that's what was running through my head this morning. Until later . . .

09 July 2007

Another Attempt at Blogging

Well, I feel like getting my thoughts out in type again and just discovered that Blogger is now connected to Gmail, so I set up a Blogger.

I finished my Peace Corps Application! It's turned in! Yay! I'm really excited. Lori is not close to done with her application :(! Lori is struggling to feel motivated about anything, Peace Corps included, much less excited :(! This is the bittersweetness of my life loving someone with OCD and depression. To be excited to is to remind myself and her of how hard excitement is for her. To look forward to future plans is to remind us of how scary the future can feel for her. I feel like OCD is getting worse. i think it's getting worse before it gets better, not just getting worse. She's talking about and thinking about how she worries and checks and why she worries and checks. I think there have been some hard revelations and coming to terms with things for both of us. It's hard to see the work that needs to be done, but I suppose it would be even harder to go on not knowing. The work must be done one way or another and I am glad we are getting started, hard though it may be.

Jeff has a new caregiver. She seems very nice and sweet. I don't know that I've learned to much else about who she is. I hope things go well for her. It's so relieving to have someone else doing Jeff's care. I'm working about the same amount of hours, and might even be upping my hours a bit, but having someone else seems to release some of the pressure of responsibility. As Kathi has put it several times, it sucks when her and I are the only people in the county that are available to cath or do Jeff's care. Jeff has a new pool, which has at least partially motivated the extra hire. He's doing therapy and swimming in the pool for exercise. I think it's really great for him and am so glad that he's enjoying it.

Yeah, that's about enough for now. More later, I hope.